


It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a starry-eyed Republican must fall in love with a grumpy Liberal.

by Silverinia



Series: Prompt Fics and Requests [3]
Category: The Good Fight (TV), The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: (i think), (well... yes. pretty much), Bad Pick Up Lines, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Humor, lots of love though, songfic-ish, tumblr request gone rogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 21:56:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18925786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverinia/pseuds/Silverinia
Summary: Requested by Anon: Kurt is drunk and tries to flirt with Diane, even though they’re already married.





	It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a starry-eyed Republican must fall in love with a grumpy Liberal.

**Author's Note:**

> This was such an amazing request, I really wanted to do it right. So... it's a bit longer than I intended it to be and I thought that it deserved to be its own special something. I've reread and edited this way too many times. I don't know if it's good anymore.
> 
> References to episode 3x02 'The One Inspired by Roy Cohn' of The Good Fight.
> 
> The song is "Dream a Little Dream Of Me", written by Fabian Andre, Gus Kahn and Wilbur Schwandt.
> 
> I don't know if I would, but I hope you enjoy it :)
> 
> PS. For literary purposes of this story, I've chosen to ignore the fact that McHart live in a brownstone. Goodbye, canon. You are dismissed. Thanks for your understanding.

Diane shifted in her seat on the couch, stretching out her leg that had fallen asleep from being tucked beneath her for the hours that had passed, since she had begun to review the documents from the police department regarding the latest arrest of one of her clients. Colin Sweeney was always good for an unwelcome surprise, but it did pay the bills after all.  
  
Blowing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes, she reached over to the coffee table to grant herself another sip of red wine. The liquid had already been warmed-up to room temperature, the around seventy-seven degrees in the house warmer than any glass of cabernet sauvignon should ever be. She swallowed, her eyes leaving the mugshot in the opened folder on her lap and wandering over to the sight of the burning fire behind the glass door of the fireplace.  
  
Kurt had lit it for her before he had left, knowing that she would like the warmth and comfort and most definitely also attempting to ease her bad mood about him going off to yet another Republican fundraiser that included his late work-connections without her.

  
_"Diane... you've got work to do."_  
  
_"I've always got work to do."_  
  
_"Yes, but... I just need to go alone tonight, okay?"_  
  
_"Is this about the recording? Kurt, we've talked about this-"_  
  
_"It's not. I just don't want to drag you through this when I know how much you'd hate it."_

  
She swallowed another sip, the bitterness of the wine competing with her own. He had always been a bad liar.  
  
Placing the glass back on the table, her eyes flew to the police report again, up until she caught her mind drifting anywhere but to her case. She could put her hair in a ponytail, so that it wouldn't keep on flying into her eyes, she thought. She could text Kurt and ask him mockingly if he was enjoying himself when she knew very well that he wasn't. It was about time to paint her nails again, the red manicure had begun to chip off slightly on the edges of her right thumb over the cause of the last few days.  
  
Sighing, she shook her head, closed the red folder and threw it next to her glass on the coffee table when she heard the chiming of an incoming call on her cell phone.  
  
She frowned, took the phone and answered without caring to look at the display. She didn't have to to know who it was at this hour.  
  
"Hello, stranger.", she answered dryly and watched as her thumb fumbled with the rim of her silk robe. "Are you having fun without me?"  
  
"Hello.", his gruff voice met her ears after a small moment of silence had passed. It held a certain tone of goofiness to it that normally could not be found there. "Your voice is pretty."  
  
Diane's brows arched up, her lips parting as she found herself at a rarely occurring loss of words. "Kurt...", she managed, once she had overcome her momentary bafflement. "Honey, where are you?"  
  
"Uhm...", he hummed and she could just picture him, furrowing one of his brows and narrowing his eyes in thought over her question. "Home.", was his eventual answer, though he rather made it sound like a guess.  
  
The tip of her tongue rolled over her lips, the sour aftertaste of dry wine meeting it on them. "No. You're not.", she said, a tint of annoyance in her voice.  
  
"Yes. You're not here." He sighed yearningly, a hint of sadness in the softness of the sound. "Why not?"  
  
"Kurt, I'm sitting on the couch in our bedroom because you didn't want me to come with you, remember?"  
  
"Hmm.", he hummed and she rolled her eyes. He'd clearly had too much to drink and it wasn't like him to just go off and drink too much. After ten years of knowing him, she could count the number of times she'd seen him drunk on one hand.  
  
"What are you wearing?", his mischievous drawl pulled her out of her thoughts.  
  
Diane's jaw dropped and for a small second, she was torn on whether she was supposed to feel flattered or indignant. "Kurt, where are you?", she asked again, her impatience growing with every passing second.  
  
A small, silly chuckle met her and for a moment, she couldn't believe that this was actually her husband, talking to her on the other line.  
  
"Stars shining bright abooove you.", he sang loudly and painfully off-key. "Night breezes seem to whisper..." He paused dramatically and she rolled her eyes to a point where it physically hurt, swinging her legs off of the couch and pushing herself up from it. "I love youuu."  
  
"Okay.", she said with finality in her voice as she rushed barefoot to the other end of the room, stepped into the hallway and opened the front door.  
  
"You're supposed to say 'I love you, too.'", he complained as the night breeze of early January caused goosebumps to form all over her skin. She certainly had not expected to leave the comfortable warmth of the house again tonight when she'd traded her work attire for her short silk negligee and a matching white robe hours prior. And still, she took her keys, slipped into a pair of ballet flats, closed the door behind her and stepped down the cold stone steps. The things people did for love...  
  
"Or sing with me. I like your voice. It's pretty."  
  
"So you've said. Kurt, I can't see you anywhere.", she said, ignoring his protest as she saw his truck parked in the driveway next to her black Cadillac but didn't see a trace of him, hoping for dear life that he didn't drive here by himself. _His_ dear life to be exact.  
  
"The stars look beautiful.", he slurred and she heard his voice from somewhere behind her, so she turned and walked slowly around the house until she saw him, lying on his back in the frozen grass. "You are beautiful.", he mumbled.  
  
Shaking her head, she hung up and approached him, kneeling down beside him and touching his arm when he hadn't noticed her. He was still holding his cell phone to his ear as his eyes lazily wandered over the sight of the starry sky until they locked with hers and a dreamy smile formed on his lips. "There you are.", he whispered.  
  
"Let's go inside, shall we?", she asked softly with a tilt of her head and a trace of a smile tugging on the corners of her lips, unable to stay grumpy with him when he was looking at her like that.  
  
The smile beneath his moustache widened. "You come here often?", he asked and earned himself another eye roll that he couldn't even process.  
  
"No. Just occasionally, to pick up my silly, drunk husband.", she said humourlessly and tugged on the sleeve of his suit jacket. "Give me your phone."  
  
"You didn't tell me you had a husband.", he pouted and she bit down on her bottom lip while she took the phone out of his loose grip.  
  
"Come on, I don't want to play. I'm freezing."  
  
"I can tell.", he said and his eyes wandered down on her until she had to suppress the deep urge to slap him. "I can make you warm if you want."  
  
"My eyes are up here, McVeigh.", she warned him and his gaze left her peaked nipples that stood out through thin layers of smooth silk, and locked with hers again.  
  
"They're pretty.", he smiled and she scoffed.  
  
"Who? My eyes or my boobs?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Biting back a smile, she tucked a little more firmly on his arm. "Okay, enough with the kissing up. Come on now, Mr. Ladykiller, I really am cold."  
  
"Lie down with me.", he said and suddenly slung his arm around her waist, trying to pull her down to him and almost causing her to lose her balance. "I wanna watch the stars with you."  
  
"Kurt, it's twenty degrees out here and I'm wearing a very expensive, pearl-white negligee that doesn't even cover my thighs properly, so I surely won't lie down on the cold and dirty grass with you tonight."  
  
His blissful smile never left his face. "I think you look great."  
  
"Oh, I'm flattered.", she said dryly and pulled on his upper arm, bringing him into a seating position.  
  
His upper body was moving around in small, uncontrolled movements, his balance affected and more than a little off because of the scotch whose remainders she could smell on his breath and she had to hold him with the strength of both of her arms around him to keep him upright.  
  
He blinked a few times, either dizzy or just confused, though probably both, and looked at her, his smile finding its way back onto his lips the second he'd taken her in. "Hello."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Hi.", she answered sarcastically which he didn't take note of.  
  
"Wanna..." One of his eyes closed as he tried to keep her in focus. "... get out of here and grab a drink?"  
  
She arched an eyebrow at him and shot him a meaningful gaze. "I think you've had more than enough."  
  
"It's on me. I'll invite you.", he tried and only caused her to scoff.  
  
"Kurt, we share an account, in case you've forgotten."  
  
Tilting his head, he stared at her, his lips parting slowly. "Oh."  
  
Her front teeth scraped over her bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth to keep herself from smiling. "Come on, help me a little. I can't lift you up all on my own.", she said, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso.  
  
"I know. You're veeery skinny.", he said sheepishly while he slung his arms around her neck, burying his face in her hair.  
  
"I'm not.", she argued in something that came close to exasperation.  
  
"Are too. I'm ruling... more pasta for you next time.", he mumbled sweetly and Diane snorted.  
  
"Now, I'll count to three and-"  
  
"You smell nice.", he cut her off, his slurred voice muffled in her hair.  
  
Diane sighed, her annoyance growing again. "Kurt-", she tried but he hardly noticed, nor did he care as he interrupted her again.  
  
"You smell like flowers. And sunshine. And... bed."  
  
"Bed?", she chuckled. "That's not a good pick-up line."  
  
"Mhm.", he hummed and snuggled into her a little closer. "Comfortable and warm. Like home."  
  
Her face was hidden from his sight and she finally let herself smile. Her stupid and foolish husband who always turned her into a silly little blushing girl. She loved him more than anything.  
  
"On the count of three, okay handsome?", she asked, still smiling and he hummed in confirmation. "One. Two. Three."  
  
She almost fell over when he lost his balance again as soon as he stood on his feet, caught by his lightweight, tall-but-dwarfed-next-to-him wife.  
  
"I've got you.", she panted, pressing her body against his to keep them from falling, not entirely sure if she was talking to him or to herself. "I've got you."  
  
He let her sling her arm around his middle, steadying him before she began to walk them around the house into the direction of the front door.  
  
"You think I'm handsome?", he asked halfway through the grass and it took a moment for her to understand where he was coming from.  
  
"Of course I do.", she said, shrugging lightly as to not disrupt their balance and he chuckled sweetly.  
  
"Thank you.", he said coyly and she rolled her eyes, smiling brightly.  
  
"I call you handsome all the time, sweetheart."  
  
He nodded exaggeratedly. "I know. You're always so nice to me."  
  
Diane smirked to herself, her teeth digging into her tongue and she let her fingers wander lovingly over his side.  
  
"Except for when you don't understand my jokes. Or when you're grumpy again."  
  
Her brows shot together in a frown, her pointed nose scrunching up as her smile froze on her lips. "I never get grumpy. You just make me really mad sometimes."  
  
Kurt shook his head. "You were grumpy today.", he stated and almost let his shoulder crash into the brick wall of their house as his body suddenly shifted aside.  
  
"Kurt, careful!", she cried out, pulled him closer towards her and stopped. "You okay?", she asked, concern reflected in her small voice and painted on the wrinkles of worry around her eyes.  
  
He nodded, looking almost expressionless at her in his perplexity of being drunk.  
  
"Good.", she said softly, brushed the back of her hand over his chest and continued to walk them into the driveway, slowly, step after step. "And I wasn't grumpy, by the way."  
  
"Whatever.", he shrugged.  
  
Carefully, she led him over to the foot of the stairs, guiding him close to the stairwell so he could at least try and hold onto it.  
  
"Are you taking me home with you, Mrs. McVeigh?", he slurred as he stumbled slightly over his own feet, causing her heartbeat to thunder against her chest in panic, but he didn't fall.  
  
She sighed. "This is your home, too.", she mumbled grimly, adding an unkind _"you moron"_ in her mind, as they reached the top of the stairs before she shoved him against the wall. "Hold tight.", she told him, nodding to the doorway. Taking her keys out of the small pocket of her silk robe, she unlocked the door, her fingers trembling and red from the cold.  
  
"Thought you had a husband.", Kurt said as she led him inside quickly, closing the door behind them and putting her keys and their cell phones on the cupboard beside her.  
  
She stepped out of her ballet flats before she turned back to him, studying his unsteady frame, covered by his cruddy suit, earth and grass downgrading the expensive, black fabric that they had chosen together a couple of months ago, after she had found out that he only owned a single, black suit.  
  
"Oh, I do. I was young and stupid and I needed the money.", she said before she took her place on his side again and walked him into the bedroom.  
  
"What?", he asked and she smirked.  
  
"Nevermind.", she said, walking around him to unbutton his jacket and take it off.  
  
One of his brows shot up as he eyed her dumbly. "Don't you want to take me out for dinner first?", he asked and her cool gaze shot up to him.  
  
"Could you stop?", she asked sharply before she sat him down on the bed to take off his shoes.  
  
"I just didn't think you were so wanton.", he mumbled as his fingers reached out for her hair, slowly sliding them through the silky blonde while she finished untying his second shoe. "So soft.", he whispered to himself as he watched the golden tresses slipping through his fingers.  
  
Diane closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to keep herself from yelling at him. It wasn't his fault, she tried to tell herself. He wouldn't even remember half of this tomorrow morning and he'd probably feel enough shame as it was by then, there was no need for her to start a fight with him that would, at the most, only make it worse for him.  
  
Placing his shoes aside, she rose to unbuckle his belt, her gaze shooting up to him the moment her fingertips collided with the cold metal clasp. "Don't even get started.", she warned him harshly and he shot her a small smile.  
  
"I didn't say anything.", he chuckled, scratching a spot behind his ear and she shook her head as she unzipped his dressing pants.  
  
"You are a child.", she stated, her voice close to a snap. "A drunk child."  
  
"Do I need to prove my maturity to you, Mrs. McVeigh?", he asked, one of his brows arching up suggestively.  
  
"God damn it, Kurt.", she sighed as she pulled down his pants. Her gaze, almost pained with concern flew up to his again. "Please just tell me that you didn't drive here by yourself?"  
  
The amusement on his face was washed away the second he met her gaze, the moment he saw her furrowed brow and the worry in her look. "No.", he answered, his voice close to a whisper. "I had a driver."  
  
Closing her eyes, she exhaled deeply in relief. Nodding once, she looked at him again and shot him half a smile. "Okay, good.", she said, leaning up to unbutton his shirt.  
  
Her tongue rolled over the flesh of her parted lips in an unconscious action as her gaze was focused on the little buttons that she undid in swift flicks of her fingers, not noticing the way Kurt stared at her lips, completely mesmerized by the small movement.  
  
Shrugging the white cotton fabric off of him, her eyes found his again. "I'll go get you a shirt. Do you need anything else?", she asked and would have blushed from the way his gaze followed the motion of her lips, had she not been the slightest bit unnerved by him.  
  
A few seconds of silence passed until she snapped her fingers in front of his eyes and had him visibly flinching as he slipped out of his trance.  
  
"Hm?" His brows rose up as he shot her a questioning gaze.  
  
Exhaling audibly in annoyance, she shook her head. "I'll get you a shirt for the night. Do you need anything else?", she repeated a little more sharply, compared to her gentle tone from prior and Kurt shook his head.  
  
"Okay." She picked up the rest of his clothes and took them with her to the other side of the house into their walk-in closet, tossing them into a laundry basket and getting a worn out, grey t-shirt for him, too tired at this point to even spend a single thought on trying to get him into a matching pair of sweatpants right now. On her way back, she stopped at the kitchen to pour him a glass of flat water, before she got back into the bedroom to find him fast asleep in an awkward, half-seating, half-lying-down position.  
  
She stopped in the doorway, tilting her head aside as she watched him silently, a small smile creeping onto her lips. His legs were still dangling off the edge of the bed and his upper body had fallen aside, his head almost resting on his pillow but not quite reaching it, his bare chest rising and falling with every deep breath that he took.  
  
Suppressing a soft giggle over the sight, she shook her head amusedly and stepped forward to place the glass of water on his nightstand, careful not to make a sound as she did. Then she went off again to take the still half-full glass of red wine from the coffee table into the kitchen before she stepped into the bathroom to brush her teeth, take off her makeup and apply some moisturizer. She turned off the lights, slipped out of her gown and lay it over one of the armchairs in the corner of the room.  
  
In the moonlight, she found a few blades of grass on the light sleeves and bit her bottom lip to suppress a small chuckle. Then she approached him, gently touched his calves and heaved his legs onto the bed as a light snore escaped him that caused her to grin. Grabbing the edges of the silk bedsheet, she tucked him into it, before she walked around the bed and slowly and cautiously as to not make too much of a movement that would startle him in his sleep, slipped in beside him.  
  
And as though he had sensed her presence in his slumber, he shifted and turned to her, wrapping his arm around her middle and pulling her closer until his lips were tracing warmly over her earlobe. She smiled into the darkness and slung her arm around him, her thumb moving lightly over the comfort of familiarity in the feeling of his skin beneath hers.  
  
"Di?", he suddenly whispered into her ear.  
  
"Yes?", she whispered back softly.  
  
"I'm sorry for tonight.", he sighed sadly and caused her smile to widen. "But everyone was being stupid there and I wished you'd been there with me."  
  
A gentle chuckle escaped her and she turned her head to place a kiss on his nose. "Hope you've learned your lesson.", she whispered as she watched his beautiful face, the wrinkles around his closed eyes and the look of easement on his halfway gone features, illuminated by the soft, cool moonlight.  
  
"Yes. Never without you.", he slurred and his fingers brushed over her waist.  
  
"No, never.", she agreed and let her eyes fall closed.  
  
"I love youuu.", he sang in a whisper, still highly off-key but charming in a way that made her heart palpitate beneath the thin silk layer on her chest like no one else ever had, like nobody else ever would.  
  
"I love you, too.", she said and pressed another kiss on his forehead.  
  
A small second of silence passed and she'd thought that he had fallen asleep again when he suddenly whispered, "Di?", making her smirk.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can you sing to me?", he whispered coyly and Diane shifted, turning in his arms to be able to watch him as she began.

  
_Stars fading but I linger on dear_  
_Still craving your kiss_  
_I'm longing to linger till dawn dear_  
_Just saying this_  
  
_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you_  
_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you_  
_But in your dreams whatever they be_  
_Dream a little dream of me_


End file.
